he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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