Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
