Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
