Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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