We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
