i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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