Don't you send me to vm
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
