something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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