Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
