I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
