Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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