I want to make a zoo with you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize