There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
