Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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