may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
