I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
