why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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