Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
