worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
PANTIES FOUND
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