Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize