That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
