Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
