morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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