we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
