we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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