Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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