i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
