I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
