its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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