Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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