I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
