I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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