do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
