So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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