wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i love accidental penises.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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