come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
