And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
