Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
