if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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