U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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