there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
