it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
