ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
