Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
