i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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