Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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