I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
