Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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