i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
