Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
