Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
