Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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