Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
