Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
