i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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