i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
