scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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